While perusing Tinder as one does while procrastinating on homework that is due on Tuesday, I realized why I can’t take the app too seriously. Though I would never knock anyone who goes on Tinder for real love. There are some Tinder success stories and on the flip side there are some Tinder horror stories.
Take my friend Gwhendulynne for example. She was perusing through Tinder and we thought we might have found the woman for her. They both liked the game Danganronpa (please use the link as I have no idea what the heck that is) and Zelda. They both agreed on the same starter Pokemon, Bulbasaur. And for the kicker they both had little bichons.
[ This is Gwhendulynne’s dog not a photo from the web. She insisted her’s was cuter than the one’s I found on the internet although, I think there might be some bias there.]
I was ready to start making the wedding playlist and ordering the matching Converse. Probably something to the effect of the Gwhendulynne’s line of bridesmaids’ (I use that term loosely, it includes everyone that she feels a close connection to regardless of gender) shoes going in a descending rainbow order. Beeyatchuh and I could have gotten a cool DJ to come that only played songs by P!nk and Lady Gaga. It would have been lit.
[Image by Flickr user Ginny]
But nevertheless, after a strong month of chatting and texting the first date was a disaster. The girl started asking what Gwhendulynne wanted in a relationship and disclosed some deep intricate problems about her friends. Not that one shouldn’t be open and honest on a first date. More so, that might not be what ya lead with while strolling through the lesbian book store downtown.The first date should be grounded on the basis discovering if the two people enjoy each other’s company. The concept of being involved in a romantic relationship and what each person wants in a relationship shouldn’t come up until at least date five. And I felt bad. Mostly because I pushed/strongly encouraged her to get back out there and date other people and then that just went badly. But…aint nothin’ I can do about it now so….
Coming full circle I don’t trust the app because of this problem. Who people are via chat and who they are in real person to person contact might be two completely different humans. As much as the modern world likes to forget, we actually do not live in the tech sphere (which I am kind of helping create by making a blog but whatever). Also not to knock that. For some people’s form of communication it works but it doesn’t work for me. I am someone who fully invests my time in the people who are currently in the room with me. Also, I’m a full-time student and I don’t time to invest in people who may be someone else when I meet them. But I also respect that dating apps are often the only way some people feel comfortable exploring their sexuality, forming bonds with others, facing the fear of rejection or gaining confidence in themselves.
I guess I’m kind of split on the issue then. Whatever works for you, works for you.
What are your opinions about finding love on dating apps? What do you think are the dos and don’ts of the first few dates?